Watch “My Heart Goes Out to Cagayanos Particularly Sanchez Mira Who Are Victims Of Floodwater | Philippines” on YouTube

I had the opportunity to visit this wonderful town of Sanchez-Mira and Claveria in Northern Cagayan. I was left in awe by how they have preserved the Filipino culture and tradition, people are so welcoming, and it was impressive and memorable was how they respect the mother nature.

We all know that in life there are ups and downs, therefore, this floodwater that damaged most of their houses may wash away the unfortunate events in their lives and rather bring more brighter and prosperous new life ahead to all Cagayanos.

I dedicate this VLOG that I have created to all of the warm and wonderful people I have met in Northern Cagayan.

Buffled

(Daughter Looks after her Mother Diagnosed with Dementia).

I dont remember when I started sleeping becide my mom. I just felt like I needed to be with her particulary when she is asleep. Also, I dont recall a time when I had a peaceful sleep because it has been the norm since then, that I will be awaken by her anytime: either she will scream or she will rock my shoulder. Basically, I will feel her even in my deep sleep. I feel like the 711 convenient store- always 24 hours accesible.

My body and mind are already accustomed that I will not have luxury in sleeping. However, this morning it was different. I was awaken by her silence as if my mind was looking forward to be disturbed anytime. I woke up, and there was my mom just sitting becide me quietly fixing her bag. Then when she felt that I am awake she just gently touch my right knee and trying to demonstrate something. I couldn’t decipher it so I approached her. She was touching her mouth down to her throught repeatedly and said something like she needed something.

Although her behavior was bizarre since it was not the normal wake up call. I tried to figured out what she wanted and maybe she was hungry. So, went down to the kitchen and prepared her food. I was right. She was hungry.

I am just confused why she was so gentle that morning. It was the first time.

As I was given hope that she will get better, the next day was extremely different. I was awaken by my mom kicking me at my feet and was furious at me. She went to her cabinet and open it then looked at me, pointing finger at me as if I will never see the light again.

Spread the Awareness

(Daughter Looks after her Mother Diagnosed with Dementia).

After days of contemplating, I have finally found the courage to go public. Ok, I have a few followers here, as in really few, so apparently I am the only one who gets to read my blog 😊, and that is fine. Usually after making my entry I will just send the link to my sister or trusted friends.

Now, things are different. I felt the need to spread my blog. I just used the Twitter as a platform to spread the awareness about dimentia. Turned out that the advocacy about dementia have been in the mainstream already. That strengthened my decision to let people know my advocacy about this disease. Therefore, I even asked my sister to do the same and so she did.

If we go back to my first sentence I said “go public”. Well, years ago I noticed that my mom behavior was different. Little did I know dimentia was starting to manifest. The system of a superwoman, street smart, the go-to of the clan had gradually declining. I was ashamed of it. I did not want to let people know what my mom was going through. Well because my mother was a people person; active; the go-to of everyone be it family, relatives and friends; she could do multi-tasking and quick thinker, and street smart. Imagine, she was well known as having those qualities then suddenly thing went south. 😦. I was scared that people might ridicule her once they found out her condition. It would be unbearable for me.


Study shows that people diagnosed with dementia still has emotions. They will feel sorrow, humiliation, sadness, pain and etc. However, even having those emotions they couldn’t decipher what they are going through. Hence, they will start to question everything, they easily get mad, irritated, cry or will start to become violent.

The advise of the specialist is to let them be, give your utmost understanding and talk to them as if you are talking to a child. Above all, they need Tender Loving Care.


My point is what if my mother will experience such, will I be able to handle it. It will be unfathomable. I dont know, It might blur my mind and god knows what I am capable of doing 😠. Of course, it’s my mom. Anyway, I kept telling my sister to keep things within the family but I forgot that I instructed her to spread my blog and so she did. She actually posted my blog on her Facebook account. My goodness! I was shooked and I got scared that my fear will become a reality. 😒. So I asked her why she posted my blog. Her reply

. . . Ok. I guess I was wrong. There are concerned people and wanting to know about my mom’s conditionπŸ€”.

The purpose of this advocacy is to let other family who goes through the same situation and those who are about to go through it – is – Educated, Recognize and Acceptance.

Education. There are stages that will come and try not to ignore it. On my end, I had no idea at the time, I thought my mom was just irritating. If only I was informed things would have been different. The thing is you will never know that what you are witnessing are the early signs of dimentia. Particularly if your parent is a strong person. Often times children look at their parents as their heroes and will stay that way forever. I should kmow right.

Year 2012, I noticed that my mom became very slow in her daily activities, and I had to repeat the things I was telling her, sometimes she couldn’t catch up with our discussions. I remember when she had to pack for the trip to Africa. I was surprised that she didn’t know how to do it. It was a task that she had been doing for 20 years because of my father’s line of work. All of a sudden she had no idea what to do. Strange. I ignored it because I thought she was annoying ☹. Without realizing that those were early signs of dimentia.

Recognize. If you happen to experience or see things that are not normal about your parent/s — observe. The least that your parent/s will do is to become a burden to their children. However, this kind of disease is beyond their control. Observe and ask around or research.

Acceptance. If your parent will actually have such mental disease, please accept it! Accept that they are just human being not a super hero. Embrace that soon they will decline.

My tears are about to fall as we speak. . . Oops! Now I am crying ,😦. I find it so difficult to write everything down. However, I honestly want others to be aware of this disease.

Family will go through stages before the disease will become a full blown condition. There is this “indenial” stage. You know your parent is a superhero so whatever they are manifesting is not acceptable and you wish they will refrain from doing so. Chances are you will start to get irritated. Truth is they do not even know they are actually doing it.

Had I known what I know now I would have done things differently for my mom.

Yin Yang

(Daughter Looks after her Mother Diagnosed with Dementia).

7 June 2019

I have chosen this subtitle because today my mom have shown an extreme opposite behavior or personality which almost made me reach my tipping point. It was devastating and frustrating; because, how I dealt with her tantrums – will someday put a dagger on my heart. 😒

It was passed six in the morning when she woke me up to have breakfast and her AM meds. Typical day.

Afterwards, she was in a good mood so I let her play the puzzle blocks. Much to my surprise, she was able t solved the puzzle faster than yesterday. In fact she had done an excellent job. My mom could quickly put the blocks to its corresponding places. To think that we just recently started this mental activity. Your guess is as good as mine, of course, it has given me high hopes so much so that I wanted to celebrate.

However, after 2 hours my joy had burst like a soap bubbles.

Taking her into a shower is an everyday struggle in a sense that I feel like my neck is surrounded with ropes and I am gradually losing my breath. It was Friday, I had to forced her to take a shower to get the “Sunnah”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp98wb123ik&feature=share

Wait, don’t think that Muslims are only taking a shower during Friday only because of this. Come on, it’s the year 2019. πŸ€—

Going back, I accompanied her inside the comfort room to assist her. Her clothes must be taken off – when suddenly she threw some tantrums. She grinded her teeth, she got mad, her face turned into a beast mode as if she wanted to pick a fight. Worst, she almost wanted to bump her head on the cement wall. Believe me, I tried to suck it up and ignored her tantrums which was painstakingly to watch. She kept throwing her tantrums like I am a stranger. I begged her to stop so she can take a shower but she kept doing her annoying behavior.

Until I got really annoyed. I yelled at her saying “Mom, I am the only here looking after you”, “why are you so selfish”, “that is not how to commit suicide”, “you want me to leave you”. I said these hurtful worda at the top of my voice. In my head, I wanted to really hurt her, wanting to walk out and leave her in vain. My heart was crying. I couldn’t believe I said those things. I was warned by other people to mind my words and actions around her while still alive because I will regret it someday.

Allah (SWTA) knows how I tried my best to avoid all of these. It is easier said and done because things are different when you are in the actual situation. I am not trying to justify my actions but I am just human. I have been looking after her for years. Pains and tiresome will pile up until you reach your tipping point.

Anyway, I finally came out of my brains, went back to reality, lower my gaze and just tried to compose myself so she can take a shower. Fast forward, she was able to take a shower. . . mission accomplished! Yes!

After the chore, I was mentally exhausted and cried silently.

I don’t know how long will I able to put up with her. 😦

Puzzle Games

(Daughter Looks after her Mother Diagnosed with Dementia).

6 June 2019

Do you reckon the friend doctor of my sister? Let us call her “Dr. Rayyah”. Alright, Dr. Rayyah advised my sister to buy any puzzle games and let our mother play with it. I rushed to a bookstore without an inkling of hesitation. I bought 2 puzzle games one is the “puzzle blocks”. I did not bought the complicated ones yet so not to shock her system.



As per Dr. Rayyah, letting her play with the game will stimulate her brains hence, might slow down the progression of dementia. I really wanted to buy all the puzzle games to for her hoping her normal mental condition will return. Sad to say that is not the case. We can only control the progress of dementia but it can never be cured. 😒.

Her morning routine has always been waking me up by kicking or shaking my body to show me that she wanted to go out or she had to go to work (sometimes she was all dressed up with her bag and other accessories). The thing is, when you are sleep deprived you tend to lose your patience in this particular episode. I used to get furious at her, but, as time passes by and after the informations that Dr. Rayyah had shared I tried to control my temper.

Instead, I woke up with composure (really trying even up to date), fed her breakfast and let her take morning medicines. I observed that she was calm and rested so I figured “this is the best opportunity to let her play the puzzle games”. So. . . I got excited and took out the puzzle blocks and asked her to play with me. I showed her how. She was slow at first, trying to match the shapes into the corresponding holes. I helped her a bit so she can adapt to the game. Turned out she had done pretty well. Not bad mom! While I was of assistance, she even said “that is a star shape” so she took the puzzle block from me and placed it to the corresponding hole. Masha Allah! I was happy knowing that she still remember. After placing the puzzle blocks together I told her “very good, mom, you are so smart”. I saw a spark in her eyes maybe it made her feel accomplished. Then I tried to let her play the second time. Still, was slow but able to finish the game. Afterwards, I didnt push the 3rd time because I noticed she got a bit irritated. At least, she remembered a thing or two. That is all that matters to me, for now. I tell you, deep in my heart I was hopeful, for what, well, for a positive outcome that I have no idea what. πŸ€”

The thing is, after taking care of a person diagnosed with dementia for a period of time, I noticed that their mood changes in a snap from positive to negative. So she might be happy but gets irritated and mad at something, in just a few second. These are the symptoms the mother of Dr. Rayyah went through. Apparently, we have a common denominator. Dr. Rayyah is really my BFF now due to her generosity to my sister and I. Move aside sister πŸ˜‰. Anyway, during dinner time she did not want to finish her meal. Was not even half finish. She threw tantrums again that I could not decipher. Sometimes I gets so frustrated.

Since she only had a light meal I did not let her take the PM medicines. Why, because she will suffer from diarrhea. Few days ago we had the same scenario, she had a light meal and I let her take the PM meds. You know what happened? She had to go to the toilet 3 times. Her stool was watery-like. I thought it will never stop. She had black circle around her eyes. I got so scared I thought that was it. So imagine the trauma we went through and will go through if I will make the same mistake. If she doesn’t want to eat you won’t be able to force her. So, I left everything to Allah (SWTA) and took the risk of letting her sleep without taking the PM medicines.

Love and Sacrifice

(Daughter Looks after her Mother Diagnosed with Dementia)

5 June 2019

Yes, and that would be me. I don’t have to enumerate what kind of life do I have or career am I leading because the only relevant here is, I am a daughter and I am not married. My mother has been diagnosed with dementia. A progressive disease that requires a “tender loving care” from people, of course, from her family.

Let me cut you there first. In this day and age, vlogging is the most used platform to share someone’s content. In a form of videos, images or etc. I happened to have a vlog channel myself but it is not active due to a thousand reasons 😁, I know, excuses. Well, simply because I am busy or I could not think of a better content. However, I just recently thought, since I am looking after my mom – why not use that as my content. Well, I can do a daily vlog and she will be my subject; I will capture how I take care of her; the approach would be like a documentary daily vlog.

The issue is that she’s my mother. If I use her, she will be exposed to the rest of the world. The idea is to prove that we can take care of our parents regardless of your nationality, status, designation or entitlement. But then again with vlogging – once you start filming and post it – everything will be open and ungarded. (Contemplating) do I want that for my mother. Imagine, her personal space will be invaded. Of course, I dont have to ask her permission since I am her daughter she will definitely say yes to everything. A mother will do anything for her young. Then, viola, my hopeless vlog channel might probably be, finally, popular and I get to have a thousand subs or even a million. However, the question remains, “do I want that for my mother”. Will she do that to me if I was in her case? In effect, viewers might ridicule her or people might get furious of me exposing my mother at her sensitive state. Why not! I feel like I need to share my lifechanging experience to the rest of you to show that we can personally take care of our parents, just as much as they took care of us when we were young. Ariba! I will be FAMOUS 😏😏.

Nah! I do not have the heart to expose my mother that way. Hence, I am back here in my blog to use it as my platform to share with you guys my life with my beloved mother. I couldn’t care less if nobody will even bother to take a glance of this article. What matter the most is I will have a documentation of my daily life that I spent with my mother. Someday I will just turn on this blog for memories.

Hence, this will be my daily diary. Feel free to read and share your thoughts.

In relation to the first paragraph, I had a conversation with my sister, she is an OFW. Anyway, she was able to talk to her doctor friend who happens to have a mother that has the same mental condition as our mother,and, she looks after her as well. Her friend was so generous to share a thing or two with my sister. According to her my mom’s behavior is the exact thing her friend’s mom went through hence, started unselfishly shared her experiences and gave advises to my sister.

On my sister end, she immediately messaged me and shared the dos and donts of taking care of our mom. All of the informations have provided an enlightenment and made us understand our mother more. Since my sister is an OFW and I am with my mother, I decided to personally nurse my mother and my sister will help with the finances. Of course she can also do the job but her salary will be really a good help.

Anyway, as per her doctor friend a person suffers from dementia has the following symptoms:

1. screaming, arguing, getting mad about nothing;

2. They get furious because they go through an emotional state that they couldn’t express their thoughts of emotions;

3. Tantrums;

4. Nonestop talking;

5. Annoying habits that will test your patience

turned out all these are the norms for someone who has dementia. Her friend even advised us to enjoy the moment that she is still talking because the next stage would be Alzheimer – the chapter of her health condition that will no longer let her talk or even have any interactions.

My heart bled upon knowing all these. My mom has always been a people person and loves to talk a lot. So if someday she will no longer be talking. . . Heartbreaking 😒. Therefore, we should cherish the moment and the difficulties we go through be treasured.

To be honest, it is not that easy, but, what the doctor was trying to point out — to refrain from hurting our mother in words or actions — that we will surely regret soon. Easier said and done, though. My mom’s behavior is a big challenge. I am not a perfect daughter. I get irritated by her repetitive words, tantrums and I sometimes I want to walk out.

But then again. . . She is my mom. 😒.

Good Things Come in Small Packages, Help Marawi Evacuees.

My siblings became an instrument in reaching out to the victims of Marawi crisis with the philanthropic hearts of Overseas Filipino Workers and foreigners in Kuwait.

A couple of weeks ago, my sister, who is an Overseas Filipino Worker as well, talked to me with enthusiasm, that there were Filipinos who wished to extend a financial support for the people of our hometown, Marawi City. 

These kind-hearted human are familiar faces for they knew my father who was the Philippine Consul General in Kuwait years back. Moreover, all of them are well aware that we are natives of this town that is under attack up to this date.

Just a background, my mother was born and brought up in Marawi City. Also, a native marawian by blood and by birth. My father, whose griefs caused by the seige, earned his primary and secondary school in Dansalan College that is now burned down to the ground. Anyway, I shall not elaborate any further for this is not the nitty-gritty of this writing. 

Going back to my sister, she received a donation amounting to more than php 29,700.00 in total. Overwhelmed by the generosities she sought my dad’s opinion, who in turn, advised her to document the funds and the way of distribution.

She decided to send the money to the eldest in our family our big brother “Kaka Zandro“, a lawyer and used to live in Marawi City but settled in Iligan City. However, concerned that if he gives to the local officials it might be tainted with politics, should he delegate the job to others doubts might arouse. Furthermore, he is also aware of the infested rice all over the places. Finally, he decided to do the task instead. In every Filipino’s home, rice is a staple. . . so he bought only the best quality; because, Maranaos deserve nothing less. 

He used his personal car and money (for the fuel), and together with my cousin braved the scorching heat of the sun with an empty stomach, drove and visited the evacuees they could find. By the way, it was still the month of Ramadan so both were fasting. They did not mind the challenges attached to it as the reward of seeing the appreciations from the evacuees were priceless.

It is so moving that there are no boundaries when it comes to helping hands. Regardless whether you share the same faith or not. I guess, in this unfortunate and unforgiving event what pops in a person’s mind is “how can I be of help!”

The selfless deed of these donors left me in awe. The unfatigable efforts and devotion of my Kaka Zandro and cousins-have gained my respect even more. My sister, who can easily pocket the money without anybody noticing it chose to send it home as her “god fearing” and “honest nature” ruled her, wanting me to give her power hugs and say, “how I am truly proud of you my little sister!” Of course, the idealism of my father who guided her children to always observe humility is a price jewel.

A gargantuan thanks to Allah (SWTA) who passed the funds through these donors from Kuwait, somehow, have chosen my siblings as the instrument in helping our fellow Marawian evacuees. I hope this will reach you all, who prefer to remain anonymous, that your donations reached the beneficiaries with diligent care. You may wonder “what’s the fuzz when the amount is so little?” As they say, “good things come in small packages”.

You might be surprised (I even shed tears upon knowing this) that one of them is a domestic helper and who reverted to Islam, selflessly donated 40 Kuwait Dinar (PHP 6,000). However, she does not want her name to divulged because according to her, she fully trust my sister. In behalf of the recipients of all your donations, “thank you!” I hope you could find time to read my blog to see the smiles “from ear to ear”. . . 

that you painted upon their faces when they received the relief goods. It can melt ones heart like a popsicle. Sigh! If only it could reach all of them and the roads were accessible.

The Eidl Fitr had just recently been concluded; however, the Marawi City is still under seige. I could not fathom the despair, fear and losses the people are going through. It is so difficult for me to process why does some creatures have to engaged into war when innocent civilians are the sacrificial lambs as if their lives are of no value.

Anyway, Maranaos are warriors and survivors. Somehow, they could pull through, painstakingly, the most unparalleled ordeals in life. . . and. . . Always be the last man standing. . . with pride and honor. It is in our blood and that is just the way it is. In Shaa Allah! 

Adieu Allergy and Oh Hello to Organic products!

A few days before the the coming of the year 2014, I got sick. It wasn’t just an ordinary colds and cough that I can cure by just drinking water with lemon, then I will be fine the following day or a fews days after (it’s how I beat such virus and it worked for me everytime). However that wasn’t the case. I got allergy! and according to the specialist that I consulted it was extensive or extreme kind of allergy. Well I thought I was gonna die so I guess it was that extensive indeed. I was confident I was healthy because I had a general check-up few months earlier and all of the results were positive. My sugar, blood and etc were normal. But, truth be told that sometimes things happen beyond our control especially if God above decides to make it happen. What I hardly process is that I am not into alcoholic drinks neither do I smoke; I don’t even stay up late and I actually dont have any vices. After the said medical general check I was confident that getting sick will not be my concern. I was even bragging that I was perfectly healthy. I was wrong. No wonder arrogance is a sin.

Contrary to popular belief, people die of allergies absence of prudent care. I remember the news I heard (I forgot when) but it was a boy who died of allergy. The school where he used to study threw a little party and the boy, of course, ate whatever they served him. Unfortunately, right there and there the boy passed away. It turned out that he was allergic to one of the ingredients in the food he just had. He didn’t even reach the hospital. Tragic. Sigh! It may be an isolated case but we cannot ignore the reality that the proximate cause of his death was from something that we take in the ordinary course of life and if only utmost care was done this would have been avoided. Imagine, he was just a boy, had he been told or aware of what to avoid he could have had lived a longer life, experienced and discovered what he ought to do so. However, who am I to criticize the teachers well let us give them the benefit of the doubt. As to the parents, the pain that so profound will forever endure them. I have wintnessed my parents’ suffering when we lost my sister and I tell you the depth was beyond repair. Ergo, allergy or whatever health problems a person will go through should not be taken lightly. Hopefully, God will give us the chance to survive.

Anyway, I am now recuperating and just a couple of days from now I will be done taking my medicines ( In Shaa Allah, if God wills it). The doctor, however, warned me that the allergy will reoccur (ugh!) yes, it will and shall be part of my entire existence. “BUT” it can be prevented should I follow her instructions to the dot. What are they? Well, I can no longer eat cheese for as slong as I leave because that was the last thing I have eaten when the allergy occured. Scrue it! I can leave without eating it anyway; I also have to avoid. . . CHOCOLATES, what kind of world is this?? Imagine chocolates?! So, I can no longer have the pleasure to have a bite on one of the greatest joy a girl can have in the dessert department!! or even all kinds of people for that matter. Now this is really painful. Sigh! The doctor further said that there is something about chocolates that will serve as contributory factor to the reoccurance of the allergy. Uhm, it is my choice between the pleasure or the chance to live without having to go through the agony or worst that might cause my life. Oh well! I guess I will just have to pull through it. There are still other pleasure to be grateful for like the strawberry flavor, caramel, blue berries, it aint that bad right? Oops don’t tell me it’s not the same as I am trying to comfort myself here; also, canned goods like tuna-in-can anything mixed with preservatives is a big no-no, so condense milk and evapotared milk are not allowed, farewell to Crema De Fruta! Lately, I have been obsessed with Filipino foods which the cooconut milk is the main component, so after the warning I can’t use the one in a tetra pack. I have to buy the one that extracted from a coconut shell. The important thing she reminded me of was to gobble on a fresh cooked meals and If possible organic products. (light bulb!)

I was a vegan for a year before and adding organic to my diet was not new. Ok when I said “was” I meant I have done it before. Sorry being human I fall off from a wagon once in a while, maybe because of the people who were not into it plus due to material things as organic are pretty pricey, also, my research wasn’t sufficient that I had deficiencies in a few vitamins and minerals. Being vegan, vegeterian or what have you is a never ending learning process. You will always have to continue searching. Noted! After my father saw what happened to me, he decided to take a mile and drive me to the organic market once a week for the sake of my health. He couldn’t afford to lose another child. I am so thrilled that he became very supportive. Now, I get to eat organic products everyday (In Shaa Allah.) I started juicing again. I juice different green organic veggies, the tastes are no longer an issue for me since I have done it before. But, I am not 100% vegan anymore. No offense to my vegan friends please dont get mad at me. But just be happy for me that I have organic veggies included in my platter-everyday. The good news is that I stopped eating red meat when I started becoming vegan and even thought I wasnt perfect I never eat red meat ever again even up to this date. I’am proud of and grateful for what veganism has taught me. So far I only eat chicken or eggs as a source of protein and my favorite. . .Tofu. Let me show you some of it.

image

I am using my mother's not so primitive juicer but still uselful. Someday I will buy the portable one but for now this baby is all good.

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I just juiced this today: kale, spinach, bitter melon, lettuce and cellary

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It took me few min to drink it as the bitter melon and spinach dominated the over all taste.

The truth is that I have always been reminded of the basic principle of Veganism because that is also what is being taught in my religion, Islam. Basically, is to take care of your health like eating organic products, avoid food that has artificial preservatives, and patronize foods that are not harmful to the body, in Islam we call it Halal. In fact, we perform prayover to the body of a particular animal before we cook it. Prayover signifies that we are asking permission to take its life and we seek forgiveness to Allah(swa) for taking its life. So veganism have always been in my heart because of such principle.

Anyway, I came to a realization that the restrictions given by my doctor are not hard to follow after all. As I have had a grand time of my life for more than three decades. I have enjoyed the pleasure of eating different foods from various countries, places, cooked by several kinds of people: chefs, friends abroad and local and families. A little sacrifice from me will not hurt particularly if it’s beneficial to my health. (In Shaa Allah). Becides, I refused to go through same distress in my body, it was not a joke.

Whenever I reckon the agony of having the allergy, ugh! You my call me a “sissy girl” but it was major since it was my health that was at risk. It was Itchy and painful at the same time. I am sure you may agree with me that it is crucial whenever your health is being compromised. Because you are dealing with nature, hence, it is the will of God as being the most powerful above all the powerful. If he wants you to get ill, can you counter it; what if he decides to take away your life, can you even prevent it; as he is the creator of the all the creations. Whereas, if you were only been emotionally hurt. . . time will heal it or if someone have committed slight physical injury to you. . .doctor can prescribe medicines to cure it. Ergo, we have no control over things when God is involve, agree? Anyway, I will always mention this, I lost my sister due to Acute Myaloid Leukemia. So please excuse me if this is realy big deal for I get paranoid whenever I get sick. 😦

Sigh! I shall never forget that night that I woke up having rushes from head to toe, itching here and there and it was immensely painful to the point that I wanted to tear my skin apart hoping it will give me relief. It started from 11pm and I endured the pain at lunch time the following day. I tried to sleep through it hoping it will wear off when I wake-up, it didn’t help. I have never encountered this kind of discomfort, i got so scared that I even prayed asking, if God will take me I hope he has forgiven me. . . Yes, I was that paranoid that I submitted myself should I not last the day.

I had to wake up my father to show him what was happening to me. He gave me an ointment to spread on the affected area. It didnt help but I was able to sleep. Then my father woke me up at 8am to see a specialist. The painful itchiness continued when we were in the hospital, the doctor arrived three hours after and since it was almost lunchtime I had to take the medicines after lunch. Note, she didn’t give me any pain reliever to at least lessen my agony.

Alas! She gave me medicines. One is Kremil-S to be taken in the morning after brekky and 30 minutes after is Prednisone; and Xsal in the evening. For your information, Prednisone is a steroid, yep! On the first three days I have to take 60 mg of the Prednisone, then she tampered it down to 50mg, 40mg, 30mg down to 20mg until I visit her again for follow-up. So we had lunch and took the meds but the itchiness only wore off after several hours. That was the time I had a good sleep.

Unfortunately, the allergy was just the tip of the icerburg. The following day, in the middle of the night a certain unexplainable and extreme pain in my nerves and muscles had waken me up, it runs from my upper back, arms and down to my fingertips. Tears started pouring down because the anguish was above and beyond. Let me see if I can describe it through words: it was like my muscles and nerves were being squeeze in through the door, or something with tons of kilos in weight is being placed on my upper extremities, as if my bones are hammered down over and over. I didn’t want to make a move because the pain gets even worst.

Unlike the allergy I didn’t prolong the time, I woke up my dad so he can rush me to the hospital. He saw me crying. We reached the hospital at about 4am. The doctor’s medical diagnosis are: one, it was due to the effect of the steroids, he said that Prednisone should be prescribed with cautious and second it might have something to do with my nerves. Anyway, he prescribed a pain reliever to be taken after meal and if it persists I will have to take another one after dinner. Then return to the hospital because his second diagnosis might be the cause. Alhamdulillah! The pain was gone after I taking the pain reliever. So we dont have to worry about my nerves anymore. Check!! The doctor also prescribed B-complex to back-up the nerves while I was still taking Prednisone. Thank Goodness!

I was supposed to visit the specialist on allergy a week after but because of what happened to me I paid her a visit earlier on. She was surprised as it was the first time she heard of my case. Whatever! It happened to me anyway. 😦 Somehow, she changed the dosage, I was taking 30mg but she stopped it. Instead, from 30mg down to 20mg, 10mg and 5mg. Afterwards, Xysal will be taken in the morning rather than in the evening, and Hydroxyzine after dinner-both will be taken for a week.

After all those agony I am feeling superb and wonderful (In Shaa Allah) Should the allergy reoccur( I hope not) I have Xysal and Hydroxyzine in my pocket. The Prednisone–I shall never take it again, ever, as per my doctor’s instruction. Was it an honest mistake prescribing it to me? This is a mystery that I prefer to leave it behind me.

I hope someday I won’t have to go through the same difficulties in my health. I have decided to embrace the changes in my life. I will acknowledge that chocolates will never be part of my life. If it will give me a longer life and shall give me a worry-free mind then so be it! There are millions of things to be grateful for, so many bounty to appreciative of, and face all kinds of circumstances with a kind heart and an open mind. (In Shaa Allah). You know what I am tinking that when I am fully recovered I shall climb the Mt. Apo as a starter of my relieved body from the frightening allergy, why not!!

Anyhoo, thank you for sparing your time listening to my drama moment. God is still the most merciful and beneficient. Let us all live a healthy lifestyle and don’t forget to put a little organic to your diet.

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This is my good friend Isabela I have been her customer for years that I don't remember anymore. You can find her organic products at Centris in Quezon Avenue every Sunday and at Market Market Monday to Saturday. Please relay her my name "Amecks." I am not a stockholder etc., she is just nice to me that I promised I will promote her business in my Facebook and blog account.

Cooking Filipino food is Easy Breezy and Delish.

Decades ago, our kitchen was the hatest part of our house by yours truly. I despised it! as I didn’t like the idea of perspiring, getting your hair messy while cooking, the smell on your hands particularly when you use garlic and onion as part of the basic ingredients. My mother would trick me so I could hangout in the kitchen but really couldn’t stand the idea of staying there even for a second. Ugh! I would literally run as if there was something horrific about the kitchen. ( wierd? Yep!)

However, when I entered college I was forced to learn to cook because I had to tighten my budget and prevented myself from ordering out otherwise I wouldn’t last until my next allowance. What an experience I tell yah. I started from frying stuff so it should be easy, right? Except all of my cooking were fried so I said hello to fattening food from brekky, lunch to dinner. Mind you, there was a time I tried to cook Adobo or Kare Kare (chicken stew) and when you look at them it seem perfect and palatable but the tasting part was a different story. ROFL!

My younger sister (next to me) would adjust the flavor, of course she couldn’t comment because im older so she would do it politely. Fast forward today, I think I survived the dillema and I ended up falling inlove with it. Because cooking is also a form of art imagine the possibilities of creating a masterpiece that after making it you realized your capabilities are endless. Life is like that you have to go for it in order to discover your assets, gift, and limitations. Wow! I am speaking like a master chef, haha! Sorry I got caught by the moment. But I am pretty sure you know what I mean. Definitely, there are thousands of things to learn I am just proud of myself that I can do things that I thought I would never do. Going back to reality, the best part, you get to cook what you crave for, that you know what is in your food and you are assured that it was cooked with respect, passion and utmost care. I dont know if you will agree with me but sometimes you could tell the emotion of the cook by the end of the product?

Anyhoo. . . I aint perfect, I am moody person which reflects in my cooking in particular. You could tell in the finish product if it was made by a happy person or an irritated cook- guilty. Although, I couldn’t change the person that I am, however, I can tell that I have come a long way from a girl who used to curst the part of the house that others loved and adored to a woman who could do magic out of her hands for as slong as she is in the zone. At least now I know wherever fate will place me in I am confident that I will survive.

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These are one of the delish I am proud of and I cook them with pride, of course when my mood would let me.

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This is what we call Pansit Canton. It's noodles but in the Philippines we have variations on how to cook em. With modesty, I fell inlove in this kind that I have became so expert in cooking it.

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These white ones with corns are what we call "Maja Blanca," made of coconut milk, cornstarch, cream corn and condense milk-- viola! my father loved this so much.